Should Santa be the Next Target of the Tea Party Movement? A Holiday Top Ten List
Dec 4, 2010 at 12:46 AM
David A. Ridenour in Humor

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Santa Claus polls well with Americans across the ideological spectrum, but there is an accumulating body of evidence that Santa does not support the Tea Party movement's pro-growth, limited-government, pro-freedom, family-friendly agenda.

To follow are the top ten reasons the Tea Party movement shouldn't trust Santa Claus...

10. "Belt-tightening" has never been in his vocabulary...

9. He regularly hands out free stuff to America's most unproductive citizens...

8. He doesn't own a bumper sticker that says, "You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold, dead, mitten-covered fingers"...

7. He may be linked to PETA as he treats his reindeer as though they are trusted colleagues rather than dinner...

6. His only vehicle is powered by energy converted from grain...

5. Like the KGB of old, he sees us when we're sleeping and knows when we're awake...

4. He expects us to believe in a magical technology that permits high-speed travel without burning fossil fuels and WITHOUT requiring recharging every 100 miles...

3. He's runs a sweatshop that undercuts American manufacturers and endangers America's manufacturing base...

2. He thinks coal is a bad thing...

1. He's Red.

I'm Easter Bunny and I approve this message.

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